The Future of “Hero” Games

With Activision’s announcement of the upcoming release of DJ Hero, featuring Jay-Z and Eminem, it looks like we are finally reaching the conceptual limits of the real-instrument-as-a-toy rhythm game, which is an exciting prospect for people who take joy in witnessing events of almost pure absurdity.

Even for those of us who love games like Rock Band and Guitar Hero, there’s always been something just a little bit ridiculous about playing a fake guitar along to real songs. While the common internet troll’s cry of “get a real instrument” has always been an aggressive, narrow-minded view that ignores the fact that rhythm games are fun, there is perhaps a nugget of truth in their vitriol: learning to play songs on a real instrument is also fun, and everyone will think you’re cool if you can bust out a John Mayer song or some junk at a party. No one will think you’re cool if you bring your special edition Slash Guitar Hero controller to your friend’s get-together and start to fake-wail.

So with Guitar Hero we have replicas of instruments that can be used to simulate playing music. Kind of weird, but reasonable enough. DJ Hero on the other hand takes that dull point of weirdness off in the distance and makes it into a full-blown, retina-melting supernova. No longer will rhythm game players be using a replica of an instrument, but rather will be using a replica of a device used to play already-recorded music in the first place.

Let me elaborate. Want to play a song on guitar? You learn how to play a guitar. The mechanics of this are difficult, and so making a game that allows even the musically illiterate to simulate playing guitar is significant.

Want to play a song on a turntable? You put a record on the turntable and it plays the music.

I can’t stress this enough. In order to play a song with a turntable, all you have to learn to do is turn on the turntable. By playing DJ Hero, we are simulating the act of playing music on a record player. This is truly absurd, and also fantastic. As such, I predict that it is only a short matter of time before we start to see the most ridiculous of all instruments become the subject of rhythm games. What bizarre new depths will Activision bring us to with future instrument peripherals? The answers may surprise and disgust you!

So join me as we look at The Future of “Hero” Games!

Piano Hero

Appeal: The piano is a widely popular instrument used in everything from classical to jazz to pop, and as such the Piano Hero game is sure to be a success. But unlike guitars, which require strumming, and drums, which require hitting things, pianos only require that the player push a bunch of buttons. As far as I can tell, this is exactly how a normal videogame controller is used, which doesn’t exactly make a piano game controller sound too appealing. So, Piano Hero is going to need something to differentiate it from both normal videogame controllers and other rhythm game controllers.

How will Activision do this? That is a great question, fine reader, and I’ve got an answer coming straight at your question-hole right now: more buttons.

The standard guitar controller only has a wimpy five buttons, making it at best a dull abstraction of an actual guitar, and most drum controllers don’t even have cymbals or a high hat. The Piano Hero controller on the other hand will include a button for every key on the piano. Actually, scratch that. Piano Hero will just include an actual piano with the game.

That’s right, Piano Hero will be the first game with the balls, guts, and other anatomical stuff to push the rhythm game to its logical conclusion by going ahead and forcing the player to just learn how to play piano in order to play the game.

Too difficult? How about too awesome!? What could be a more immersive gaming experience than playing a game about playing piano with an actual piano? Nothing, that’s what. Well, except actually playing piano, I guess. Anyways, the goal of Rock Band is to make you feel like you’re a guitar player for once in your pathetic life, which is fun, so Piano Hero will maximize that fun by just making every Piano Hero player an actual piano player!

Even better, the programmers won’t have to fuss around with scaling every song down to an abstract level, because there will only be one difficulty setting: actual song.

Audience: Kids whose parents forced them to take piano lessons. Church ladies.

Tracks: I know we said that classical music and jazz are popular, but let’s face it, nobody who listens to that stuff would lower themselves to being anywhere within a 100 foot radius of a videogame. So, it looks like it’s going to be all Elton John, all the time.

Theremin Hero

Appeal: The theremin is a bizarre instrument that is played by not touching anything. This truly unique form of playing is the sole reason for  this unusual instrument’s esoteric appeal, since it sounds about as beautiful as an air-raid siren.

Unfortunately, this is a game, so it has to have buttons to press. As such, players will press a series of buttons on a normal videogame controller to manipulate a set of virtual on-screen hands, which will then move around within an actual 3D representation of a theremin. This a truly incredible advance that gives all the fun of playing a theremin while still being able to touch something!

But we couldn’t just stop there, oh no. The truly groundbreaking feature of this game is that it will require you to hold the controller in a theremin while you press buttons to manipulate the virtual theremin, giving the game an unparalleled true-to-life feel!

Audience: People who read Boingboing and like stuff that is weird for the sake of being weird, even though it is actually kind of awful.

Tracks: The sign-off tone of your local cable TV station.

Oh wait, this just in: the theremin has already been used by some nerd to play Rock Band. Ignore everything I just said.

Bongo Hero

Appeal: Bongo Hero will be the first Hero game to allow you to tap into the exciting and visceral world of being that one guy on stage that doesn’t have a microphoned instrument, because why did we let him in the band again?

In contrast with most instrument peripherals, the Bongo Hero controller will only include one button: a bongo. But this game will make revolutionary use of that one button. Rather than encourage players to go along with the song, Bongo Hero will reward players for a-rhythmically smacking the bongo controller while bobbing up and down and swaying around with their eyes closed, just like a real bongo player!

On second thought, this has no appeal at all.

Audience: Smelly hippies who always show up to the show incredibly stoned then bang on their authentic African bongos that they got in Capetown during their “humanitarian aid work-term,” where they were really just trying to pick up girls who wear hemp and have dreadlocks.

Tracks: Whatever music is being played where more than one person wearing a Che Guevera t-shirt can be found.

Katzenklavier Hero

Appeal: It’s a freaking organ made out of cats. The end.

Audience: Renaissance-era ADD patients, dog-lovers, the deaf.

Tracks: Jingle Cats.

Hero-Game Hero

Appeal: Do you suck at rhythm games? Of course you do! Your hands have been permanently locked into wretched, clenched claws from carpal tunnel-inducing videogame playing and masturbation. As such you are never able to join in on the fun of a boisterous game of Rock Band, and are instead forced to sit back and make a feeble attempt at drinking a beer with your horribly disfigured appendages.

But have no fear, because Hero-Game Hero is here! (Oh.)  With Hero-Game Hero, players will get to experience all the exhilaration and thrill of playing a set, without the need for any of that physical proficiency stuff!

The gameplay mechanics are simple: just choose the difficulty you want to play the song at, then enter the skill level at which you want the song to be played. Want to experience the excitement of completing Through the Fire and the Flames on expert difficulty? Simply set your playing skill to little kid phenom and watch the points roll in! Want to suck really bad at Bark at the Moon? Just set the song’s difficulty to expert and your playing skill to toddler chewing on the controller and experience the agony and tears of defeat.

The game will even include a selection of playing strategies to highlight the tactical aspects of Hero-Game playing. Strategies will include: know the song before you played it in the game so you don’t screw up until you get to the bridge that no one cares about, try to get overdrive to go off by tilting the guitar as violently as possible multiple times only to have it not respond, making you scream at your TV when you fail, and hit the right notes at the right time instead of the wrong ones.

The ultimate goal is to become the best Hero-Game player ever, giving you the skills and talent to beat any individual rhythm game ever created!

Audience: People who like the idea of rhythm games but not rhythm, people with no hands, fans of meta-irony.

Tracks: Every song ever made! (Due to licensing fees, the game will cost 849 million dollars.)

Tony Hawk: Ride and the Video Game Peripheral Revolution

In case you haven’t heard, Tony Hawk is releasing yet another video game based on his extreme skateboarding franchise. I’ve played a few of them, and found them very much the same. This new one, simply known as Ride, comes with a very unique accessory.

The board peripheral is motion-controlled, which would make it a more advanced version of the WiiFit Balance board. There may not be any wheels on this board, but the player can manipulate it as if it was a real skateboard. More advanced stunts, such jumping and grabbing the board, are accomplished by kneeling and touching the buttons on the side.

Tony Hawk: Ride is planned to be released later this year for the Xbox 360, Ninetndo Wii, and Playstation 3. There is supposed plans that the board peripheral will be used for other games like snowboarding and surfing.

This seems to be a trend among video game peripherals to be used for more than one game. For example, the WiiFit Balance Board can be used with other games where balance is important, and has recently been incorporated in the Wii version of Punch-Out. So not only can the player use the Wiimote and Nunchuk like boxing gloves like in WiiSports, but this new version of Punch-Out allows the gamer a chance to dodge blows by shifting weight on the WiiFit board.

Perhaps we are seeing a dawn of a new age of video games where the accessory is a heavy part of the action. After all, Guitar Hero and Rock Band were simply complex controllers that were in need of a game, and they have swept the nation. The soon-to-be released DJ Hero will have a turntable peripheral that could be just as popular.

Sadly, this was not the fate for Steel Battalion. This was an X-box game which required an advanced peripheral with two control sticks and forty buttons. Granted, it completely immersed a gamer into playing a vertical tank, but sales of units were quite limited due to its complexity. The high price didn’t help it, either.

I would like to suggest other games that would come out, though it would require a huge peripheral.

Starbucks Barista: The game comes with a very complex controller that can make virtual coffee, espresso, lattes, in many forms. Players must compete as the morning rush comes in, and points are given as they meet all the orders exactly.

Folk Hero: Imagine that you are mythical American heroes Paul Bunyan, John Henry, or Johnny Appleseed. It is easy with the axe, hammer, and seedbag peripherals.

Crazy Climber 2000: I realize that we are long past the year 2000, but an update of the old-school Crazy Climber video game is long overdue. Of course, this version requires the user have their own climbing wall and a Virtual Boy. Now the question you have to ask yourself is: which is harder to obtain?

Rifle Squad: This game is made for all the cadets at the academy that have to do those rifle drills like at the beginning of A Few Good Men. Some of you might not remember that film, and I suppose it would not help to mention the film Stripes. Maybe you should catch the end of the Hillary Duff classic Cadet Kelly. Anyway, the motion-controlled rifle peripheral along with the game will make you feel like you are a part of the spinning and stepping rifle team.

I can’t really think of any more of peripheral-based games right now, but I am certain that the video game developers will. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if similar ideas are under development.

So does this age of peripherals do to the video game industry? It will encourage more gamers to get off the couch, and immerse themselves in the game. In short, it is preparing us for virtual reality gaming.

Activision Announces new line-up of Games for Guitar Hero

Activision Blizzard, Inc. is a worldwide online, PC, console and handheld game publisher with leading market positions across every major category of the rapidly growing interactive entertainment software industry. They have recently announced the new line up of games to extend the Guitar Hero gaming franchise.

Three new game titles introduced are Guitar Hero 5, DJ Hero and Band Hero. I personally think that DJ Hero will be a great add-on as it comes with a turnable controller that allows you to create original mixes from hip-hop, Motown, Electronica, R&B and dance songs.

Band Hero will deliver an exciting music collection of some of the best hits ever to expand the appeal to a broad family audience who can play together on the guitar,drums, bass, microphone and experience a new genre of music.

Finally there is Guitar Hero 5 which will be featuring the hottest rock and roll artists we have today. The game gives the player groundbreaking control over the way they play, with the ability to drop in and out of songs while allowing them to change band members, their instruments and difficulty levels on the fly at the same time.

Activision

Guitar Hero: Metallica has Release Date, Will Destroy Your Shins

Over at Metallica’s website, they’ve revealed that the release date for the Metallica-focused Guitar Hero: Metallica is March 29th for XBox 360 and PlayStation 3.

The game will essentially be Guitar Hero: World Tour, with real venues, real members of Metallica, and a lot more Metallica than your average rhythm music game. 28 Metallica songs will be included, and if they’re anything like the downloadable Metallica songs for Rock Band, they will be incredibly difficult.

In an interesting choice for a game that has Metallica in its name, the game also includes some bands that aren’t Metallica, such as Slayer, Machine Head, Alice in Chains, Queen, and Foo Fighters. I guess Guitar Hero: Metallica, with special guests Slayer, Machine Head, Alice in Chains, Queen, and Foo Fighters was a bit too verbose.

Most importantly of all, Guitar Hero: Metallica will include an expert-plus mode, which will include double bass pedals, for those who are truly masochistic enough to want to play Lars’s full bass beats. I’ve played some of Metallica’s songs on drums on expert in Rock Band, and they turned my legs into quivering jelly, so I can only imagine how hard double bass will make this game.

Check out the trailer!