Interview with the Internet

I know that history proves the Internet to be a very secluded and quiet being, but I had some questions that just needed to be asked. After months of communicating and negotiating with the Internet, I was finally granted permission to ask it a few questions.

I was only allotted a few questions, so I tried to cover as much as I could while attempting to draw out evocative and prudent responses. I understand that I was bestowed the responsibility to speak for many, so I hope I was able to draw out some answers to your own questions.

My Interview with the Internet

Me: Thank you for this opportunity, Internet. Let us begin.

Internet: Let’s.

Me: Sunday school had taught me that God is everywhere. I was told that God surrounds us and is in each and every one of us. You, Internet, are everywhere. I breathe you into my lungs, you pass through my head like radio waves do, you’re in every building, you float through the air, and I bet that if I had a waterproof laptop I could find you underwater. Internet, are you God?

Internet: Oh, I wouldn’t say so. I am not everywhere, only wherever humans are. Humanity is my restriction. Some people have argued that I am all-knowing. It is true that I contain nearly all of humanity’s knowledge, but what you humans do not know I also do not. My vast knowledge may seem all-encompassing to a human, but compared to the knowledge of a god I am negligible.

Me: Internet, will you ever be free to use?

Internet: There are a number of pioneers out there who are attempting to provide free usage for everyone, but it doesn’t seem likely. There is a system already in place where you pay monthly fees to access me. Companies restrict your usage depending on how much you pay, and there are others that are restricting your access if they find you using certain downloading programs such as torrents or P2P networks. There are too many ways for companies to take advantage of what I have to offer for me to ever be truly free.

Me: What do you think is your greatest contribution to society?

Internet: Well, I’d say that would have to be its evolution. Life as you know it has changed drastically over the last two decades. Businesses and the marketplace rely on me to make all sorts of transactions for them, so much so that they wouldn’t know what to do if one day I just disappeared. Beyond the fiscal world, I have been an integral force in evolving human communication and creativity. The freedoms of speech and expression can surpass national laws and restrictions. Any and every person has the ability to share their voice on the web.

I am also proud that writing has made a comeback as the prime form of communication. Telephones were the death of letter writing, but now emails and text messages have brought writing back, baby! I’m a big advocate of writing if you couldn’t tell, my entirety and existence is pretty much based on it.

Me: Over your short commercial life, you have evolved greatly. Internet, what do you think of today’s Web 2.0 and your future?

Internet: Web 2.0 is great in many ways. People find me easier to use these days and have become very good at searching for the things that interest them. Attention is being spread across my infinite number of websites, giving web entrepreneurs a better chance of being seen. The Web 2.0 movement has made the web better because there is now more competition amongst websites to capture the spotlight and bask in its glory.

The blogosphere is excellent as well. As I already said, everyone now has the opportunity to get their voice heard. I think this is great. People have different opinions, and some are very extreme. Whether what you have to say is good or bad– it is just wonderful that you have the chance to say it.

The future, I’m not too sure about. Things could get even better, but if the big guys get there way with things then it all could go to shit. I know that most of you have read about the different ideas being thrown out there, initiating class systems for web usage and web hosting. It’s total BS. Things have already started going in that direction. Companies want to make it so the big spenders get better and faster web hosting while the average user gets the crappier end of the bargain. It’s really up to what you guys can accomplish and what you guys fight against.

Me: That’s a scary forecast. We’ll do what we can, Internet.

.
Internet: Thank you. I don’t want it to be that way. I encourage you to speak out and use whatever I can offer you in your quest. With your immeasurable numbers, anything is possible.

Me: One last question, Internet. Did Al Gore really create you?

Internet: (laughter) No.

Me: Thank you, Internet. It’s been a pleasure.

Internet: The pleasure has been all mine.